do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
