ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
