he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
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