Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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