hotel room ftw
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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