you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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