i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Randomize
