yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
