Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
