I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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