i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
