Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
