She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
