Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
