I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
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