Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
