so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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