I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
