Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
