yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
