Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
