Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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