Why are handjobs necessary in class?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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