it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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