he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
