so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
