I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
