my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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