the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize