you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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