I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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