Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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