I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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