If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
