i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize