these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
