...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
We are two peas in an std pod
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
