we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
