just survived the first fart of the relationship.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
