I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
How's work?
Spinning.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
