If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
