The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
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