woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
