Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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