How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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