party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We need a shit load of segways right now
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
that is very illegal...i love you.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
