K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Life is so much better after having sex.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize