woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
