i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
is it fun? or sober?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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