I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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