no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
