Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
wat bout pragnant strippers??
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
