DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
