nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
