Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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