Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
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