Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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