areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
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