Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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