$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I could have mohawked her pubes.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
soo... how was my night?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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