Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
