Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
